October marks the beginning of Halloween season, a time when spirits walk the earth and regular houses around the country transform into haunted houses. But be not afraid—our Haunted House Survival Kit will ensure you make it through a trip to even the most ghost-filled abode.

1. A Crossword Puzzle Book: Haunted houses are a popular seasonal activity, so popular that the lines to get in often stretch around the building. While you wait, amuse yourself with a good old-fashioned crossword. Anyone know a nine-letter word meaning "America's favorite puzzle"?

2. A Light Jacket: That chill you feel isn't just a ghost trying to hug you. It gets pretty cold out here at night, so you're going to want something heavy enough to block the wind but light enough that you won't sweat too much inside.

3. A Paper Bag: Look, it's going to be scary in there. We know that, and you know that. If you're feeling anxious, take a few deep breaths into a simple brown paper lunch bag. If old sitcoms taught us anything, it's that this is a sure-fire way to head off a panic attack.

4. A Stuffed Animal: Keep this in the bag, just in case the breathing doesn't work. For Halloween jitters, bears or lions are best, especially if they're also wearing Halloween costumes.

5. A Scary Mask: You're a few rooms in and starting to loosen up a little. This is fun, eh? Why not get in on the act and spook one of the performers with this zombie mask? They'll never expect it! Look, Frankenstein's Monster has his back turned. Now's your chance!

6. A Peak Jump-Starter: That monster you scared doesn't look so hot. In fact, he's clutching his chest and slumping against the lab table. Get him going again with a jolt from this handy jump starter. If its 600 peak amps are powerful enough to start a 1992 Dodge Dynasty, they've gotta be able to reanimate a Frankenstein, right?

7. A Blazer Stop/Tail/Turn 7-Function Light: Oh no. This is bad, man. This is real bad. The monster isn’t moving. Now the next group's about to come through! You've got to get away from the scene, but you can't just leave this inert Frankenstein here like this. Quick! Take off that stupid mask, put this flashing signal light by the body, and get out of there. Go!

8. An Ionic Brush by Fuller Brush Co.: That Frankenstein's going to be OK, right? Of course. It was just a little scare. Somebody in the next group probably has him up and terrorizing villagers again by now. It's all gonna be fine. You've just gotta pull yourself together. You look like a mess. As you exit the haunted house, take a minute to breath in the cold night air and fix your hair with this ionic brush. Its double barrel ion output reduces static and flyaways, and might be enough to bribe the werewolf at the exit into forgetting he ever saw you.

(Photo by Mark William Mills for Groupon)

Treat yourself to these related reads...if you dare:

How to Detox from a Halloween-Fed Sugar Coma

Haunted-House Stories from Actors Who Did Their Job a Little Too Well