What is it about the stylist’s chair that’s so nerve-wracking for little ones? Is it the bright gleam of the scissors? The unfamiliar person wielding them? The smock that looks like a manta ray trying to hug you?

Whatever the reason, lots of children dread getting a haircut. And that makes the experience hard on everyone: the kid, the caretaker, and the stylist. We wanted to know if there were any tried and true ways to offset that fear—and maybe even get kids to look forward to their next appointment.

We polled many moms for advice on kids’ haircuts, and then turned to the professionals to double-check it. Four Chicago stylists weighed in: Abby Mazer of Sejour Salon; Lindsey Van Housen, hair stylist at Hair Cuttery in Chicago’s Greektown neighborhood; Idania Santiago of Rock Hair Scissors; and Jeremy Tucker of Chicago’s Pickle’s Playroom. After looking at our list of tips, they told us which ones to ignore, and which ones have worked for them.

Ignore These Tips:

“Get a cheap doll and let the stylist cut its hair.” 

“Handling too many things can get kids agitated,” said Idania. Lindsey also shuddered at the idea. According to her, doll hair is brutal on a stylist’s shears, so unless you’re supplying the scissors, leave the doll at home. “Or tip me an extra $200 to replace the shears I just ruined,” she said with a laugh.

“I had my dude hold a fake scissors; he thought he was cool.” 

“As a stylist, I don’t want the child holding a weapon, fake or not,” Lindsey said. “But it is pretty common for us stylists to have little knick-knack toys to play with.” Just in case they don’t, though, bring a toy that your child already loves—or something they don’t get to play with often.

“Bring your tablet or phone so they can play games and watch videos.” 

None of the stylists were crazy about this idea. Though it’s not impossible, it can be difficult to cut hair when the client’s head is bent downwards. Reserve this option as a last-ditch effort or try another mom’s spin: “selfie-video” the haircut. Some kids are mesmerized by seeing themselves on that tiny screen!

Follow These Tips:

“Visit the salon before the haircut appointment.” 

Idania makes this suggestion to every client. Visiting makes the child more comfortable in the environment of the salon, and they can watch other kids’ haircuts so they know what to expect.

“Bring treats.” 

“YES! YES! YES!” Lindsey said. One of her regular clients feeds her child M&Ms throughout the haircut. Since it’s the only time he gets them, he sits nice and still for candy time. “Candy bribery is the best,” agreed Abby. (Of course, it’s meant to be a rare, quick fix, not a precedent to set for every irksome task.)

“Stay consistent.” 

Seeing the same stylist as often as possible is important to building trust and comfort, said Jeremy. This way, you’re not starting from square one with every haircut, and your child may start to think of appointments as an opportunity to visit a friend. “Parents tell me their kids actually ask when [they’ll] get to see Mr. Jeremy,” he said.

“Give the stylist some space.” 

If the stylist asks you to step back, respect that—they know what they’re doing. Lindsey advised staying aware of the stylist’s personal space: “If you have to keep moving to get out of my way, that’s a problem.” Sometimes, parents might even have to stay out of sight completely. “You have no clue the number of kids who settle [down] as soon as mom and dad are gone,” said Abby.

“Get your hair cut, too.” 

Lindsey has noticed that boys love getting their hair cut alongside their fathers. “Seriously, at any age, the kid loves it. A little father-son bonding time is good for everyone.”

“Know when to give up.” 

Flailing, crumpling to the floor, glass-shattering screeching—Jeremy has seen it all. “If the kid’s really freaking out, you might just have to come back later,” he said. Lindsey chimed in with a more colorful image: “This kid is kicking us and spinning their head like [in] The Exorcist, and you want me to give [him] the David Beckham haircut?” 

Especially if the child is too young to reason with, parents should consider postponing the haircut until they’re a little older. But you’re not entirely out of luck: “We can recommend ways for you to style their hair in the meantime,” Lindsey said. 

Photos by Andrew Nawrocki, location courtesy of Pickle’s Playroom.

Read more hairstyling tips for all ages:

Are You Washing Your Hair Wrong?

The Agony and the Ecstasy of Getting a Haircut