Breaking up is always hard, especially if you’re leaving someone who you’ve trusted for years … with your hair.

There are countless stories of women—and sometimes men—avoiding the hair salon after letting a years-long relationship fade away. In hopes of finding better closure, we contacted a couple of stylists for breakup advice.

The takeaway? It’s no fun for them, either, but sometimes things just happen.

“I love my clients and have formed many relationships along the way,” said Laura Goddard, who owns Laura Goddard Style in Atlanta. “This is a very personal field to be in. [But] I try not to take it personally when people leave.”

Below is their advice for some of the many reasons for a breakup:

When You’re Just Incompatible …

Let’s say the client doesn’t clearly communicate what she wants. Maybe the stylist misunderstands her instructions. This incompatibility leaves everyone feeling unsatisfied, and in a worst-case scenario, the client ends up with a horrific haircut or a botched color job.

Lots of people would feel justified moving on without another word. But the pros ask you to address it, because the stylist might be able to resolve the issue—or recommend a peer who can.

“A stylist could gain insight on the fact that they may be inexperienced in a certain aspect of the hair world, and realize they need more education,” said Dillon Spranley, an educator at Chicago’s Toujours Spa & Salon.

If you’re absolutely sure you want out, then Dillon also recommends sending a note wishing your stylist well. She doesn’t recommend making a scene.

“The worst ways a client could break up with me would be to insult my talent in front of another stylist, or to … scream about being unhappy instead of allowing me to come up with a solution,” she said. (Such a reaction isn’t unheard of, unfortunately.)

See Dillon’s tips on how to cut corners in your beauty budget.

When You’re Being Torn Apart …

Most often, though, these relationships end due to routine circumstances: a client moves, prices go up, a stylist changes salons or switches her hours. The pros said they vastly prefer this kind of breakup, as it’s heartening to know there was nothing wrong with their skills.

Even so, it’s a courtesy to drop by the salon or leave a quick note. That way, running into each other later can be a pleasant experience, much like your old chatting sessions in the salon chair. “For some [ex-clients], we sit and catch up,” Laura said.

When You Want to Come Crawling Back …

Sometimes your flirtation with a new hairdresser doesn’t end well, which is all the more reason to keep it civil with your former stylist.

“I've had clients that just wanted someone closer [to them], but then decided to come back because they valued my services,” Laura said. “If someone decides to leave for any reason, I always tell them that they are welcome back anytime.”

Dillon advocates honesty in these situations so that stylists know whether they need to alter their approach. In one case, though, she learned she wasn’t the problem: “My male client started dating a hairdresser and began getting his haircut for free—no one passes up a free deal. And then when they broke up, he came back to me.”

When It’s Not Them, It’s You …

Lest you think that you’re immune, know that stylists are willing to dump you, too. Dillon ended it with a client who kept coming back even though they always left unhappy. Laura said that she would call it quits if a client was a routine no-show.

Above all, everyone involved should value politeness. “The relationships between a stylist and a client are much like an intimate relationship,” Dillon said. “If you end it nicely, then seeing them on the streets won’t be as awkward.”

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Read more on hair styling and salon etiquette on the Guide:

Seven Etiquette Questions You Wish You Could Ask Your Stylist	Three Cut-Only Hair Makeovers